Bad Nasty Stuff, Man

Heyyy. Sigh. So. I took an unplanned, unwanted month (plus) long hiatus from, well… everything, thanks to the flu, and subsequently pneumonia. It pretty much kicked the shit out of me, to put it bluntly. Thirteen day of fever, a few doctor visits, an ER trip, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee. Sorry, not that last part. It just fit, somehow. Since most, if not all of you, have had one or the other at some point in your lives, I’ll spare you the details, because it’d be like preaching to the choir, right?!

The only little ray of light was the 7 extra pounds I dropped (but we all know illness weight loss always comes back). Oh, and also that my Mommy came and took care of us, thank God. I say ‘us’ because my husband was knocked out of commission as well by the very same beast. Ok, wait-, technically, he started it, then two weeks into his germ party, I was pushed onto the infectious disease bandwagon. Good times!! I mean, look at us, just having a blast:
102 fever and 101 fever, respectively. Still able to take a selfie, of course.

As newlyweds, this was our first experience in the  “In sickness and in health” part of the vows, so let’s all take a moment and say “Awwwww”.  I mean, to clarify, we’ve each taken a turn at being unwell, and even each had a medical procedure done where we needed to take care of the other. But… big time sick at the same time?! Totally a first.

Some things we learned about each other during our stint in Sickness City:

We both are pathetic. Like, all out, can’t reach the thermometer right fricking there on the nightstand, can you get it for me, pathetic.

We are both passively-aggressively competitive as to who feels the worst. As in:

“Ugh, babe (yes, we call each other babe sometimes. Don’t judge) my cough is really killing me”

“Ohh, really? That sucks, honey. My 103 fever is totally frying my brain right now.”

“Aw, man. I hear ya, MY head totally feels like it’ll explode from all the pressure.”

“Wow, I’m pretttty sure I’ve dehydrated to the point of embalmment.”

And, so on.

I am better at sucking it up and rallying. It’s true, don’t let him try and tell you otherwise. I’m tougher, as women usually are. I’m sorry boys, but it’s a fact known to all (women).

He is better at being nice, regardless of how he feels. Yah, I’ve got to give him that. He feels like shit: still nice. I feel like shit: everyone must die. Now.

He has no illness etiquette. Um, no brainer- it’s why I got sick at all!. Seriously, he coughed directly in my face. Often. Not even my normally spectacular immune system could fight that barrage of germiness being hurtled my way.

I am one ugly sick chick. No, it’s the truth. Look:
104.2 fever aint pretty, man.

See? I shit you not.

So, attempted humor aside, we really did find out a little more of what we, the couple, are made of. Turns out, the aforementioned aside we still rocked it- the whole love and marriage/sickness and health stuff. Warning: sappy moment ahead- we confirmed for each other that there is no one on earth we’d rather be sick, contagious, hideous messes with, than each other. Even when ‘together’ is nearly a month in separate ends of the house, trying not to re-infect one another (or keep the other up with coughing)- we were still in it together. Checking in, offering feeble help, just riding the storm, whatever it took to just get through it. So, that’s pretty damn cool on every level.

And that’s about all there is to say on that.. I’ve spared you my original plan of posting my daily journal entries I made while sick. Mainly because they were often written in fever induced incoherency. Right now, though, it just feels good to finally set some words down to post. Hope to hell you are spared the Flu and Pneumonia for that matter, because that is some baddddd nasty stuff, man….


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