Ugh. This morning I woke up, with no discernable reason, with the song “Rainy Days and Mondays” playing in in my head. Now, A) It’s not Monday, it’s Tuesday. B) It’s not raining, it’s actually an M- F-ing blizzard, first of the season. Had I not seen the weather forecast, or looked outside, I’d know it to be true by the insane number of hashtag phrases roaring across my Facebook wall ( you know, like this: #itssocold #gotmilkandbread #snowedin #blizzardtimebaby, #wegotbeersowedontkeeer, and so on). Oh, and C? C) I fucking hate that song. It sends me into a depressed, drown myself in alcohol kind of mood. Okay, fine, that was maybe a little overdramatic. But, it did get me to thinking about all those songs I hate, but know the words to.
So, in no particular order (because I hate them all equally) here is
The 10 Songs I Hate, But Know Every Word To:
The Carpenters, Rainy Days and Mondays– you already know how I feel about this one:
Tears For Fears, Shout– just… his face, the short guy, makes me so inexplicably angry . Like, in a violent, I want to punch him, kind of way. I feel badly about that, but it’s like, just a visceral reaction. Therefore, I can’t hear this without wanting to be nasty. Oh, and I had to pull up the video so that I could link it to this post, and it’s still playing in the background. I’m hitting the keys on my keyboard unnecessarily hard. Thanks Shout guy. Stop fucking shouting. How bout that.
Helen Reddy, I am Woman- No. Just, no, and staaahhhhhppp. I can’t. I mean, really? Really? ” I am woman, hear me roar…” Sung in that sappy 70’s sound… Katy Perry did a better roar, and I’m not really a Katy Perry fan, but at least she make you feel a little bit of power through her song.
Carol King, I feel The Earth Move- Again, it’s probably that whole 70’s thing. I was a child (0-9yrs, specifically) in the 70’s, and my mom sang a lot of this stuff around the apartment- top of her lungs, by the way- and I think they all remind me of having to take a nap, because that’s when she’d put on the record player to clean the house and whatever else she did while I was in my room.
Justin Beiber, Baby- Please, does that really need an explanation? And furthermore- anything Beiber is also on this list in spirit.
The Romantics, Talking In Your Sleep- Blech. Ewww, and gross. That’s all I’ve got on that one:
The Gap Band, You Dropped a Bomb on Me- It’s that freaking annoying “bomb dropping” sound effect they do throughout the whole song. Annoying.
Donna Summer, She Works Hard For The Money– Awful, awful song. In junior high, my best friend had a very bad reputation. She was considered the school slut, and was mercilessly harassed by the mean girl crowd. I hated bullies then, and I hate them now, and I loved the underdogs (still do). She was a good hearted girl who make really bad choices for really sad reasons, and I liked her a lot. I respected her strength and bravery in the face of all that got piled on her, too. Anyhow, cut to school dance- DJ taking requests- and over the mic we hear “…and this ones going out to ____…” on comes that song, with the mean girl group pointing and laughing from their huddle across the gym. Bad enough that they did that to her, but the DJ? What the fuck, dude? How did you either, A) not get the implication or B) if you did get the implication, dedicate the song to a young girl?? Still irritates me any time it comes on the radio.
Barnes and Barnes, Fish Heads– Yeah, For real. This freaky little ditty came out with the birth of MTV (when they played videos) and I watched it the same way you watch a accident unfold- with horror, and yet, unable to look away. You can’t unsee or unhear this (jump to about halfway mark):
Bob Seger, Old Time Rock & Roll– First and foremost- I LOVE Bob Seger, love, love, love him. But I intensely dislike Tom Cruise, and anything that involves him. Cue Risky Business, the underwear scene, and a cinematic historical moment is make. And replayed. And replayed, and…. yes, you get it.
There’s more, a lot more of course. But there’s only so much I can torture myself with in one sitting. Feel free to torment me with songs you hate as well, might as well pile on here while I’m already in a fighting mood. Just kidding, I’m going to go make some Paleo cookies now and listen to my preselected, non-irritating playlist at a high volume while my husband snow blows the driveway 😉