If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way


Seriously. If I could just get out of my own way, I’d do just peachy. I’m meaning this in a most literal sense, but I briefly acknowledge that I also mean it figuratively as well. But that’s another story. (For real, I’ll probably write another story about that.)

Fortunately, my literal trips, stumbles, slips and falls have (as of yet) resulted in only bumps, bruises, cuts, scrapes… and a very small collection of bone breaks (fingers, toes, and perhaps currently-my nose). Ha ha. Just reread that paragraph… It reads like Dr. Seuss gone violent.

Anyhow, yes: I am your classic, constantly and dangerously (to myself) distracted chick. I shoulder block door frames daily. Door knobs and table edges greet my hips and ass at an alarming frequency. My hands have not had a cut free day in forever. I, yes, trip over air and fall upstairs.

The nose thing I mentioned? Yah. So, long story short: I’m at a playgroup,  needed a tissue (well, toilet paper, technically) for one of the kids. Walked hurriedly to ladies room, dashed into the stall, bent down and ripped off some TP, stood and turned to leave said stall, and BAM!! Forgot the stall door was there. But no worries…the bridge of my nose found it. Hard. Bone cracking hard, to be exact. Yes, I saw stars and little blue birdies twirling around my head. I briefly imagined the Road Runner Meep Meeping in my ear before speeding away. I’m kidding, that last part didn’t happen. Fortunately, no blood and only mildly visible bruising.
Unfortunately, it hurts like hell and I probably have a permanent bump.

In typical fashion, I almost immediately announce my epic fail on Facebook, where I received a bunch of “likes” fairly quickly. Which led me to wonder, ‘what kind of friends do I have, that “like” a status that says, “I think I just broke my nose.” ???’ Yet another thing to ponder at some point.

Well, just thought I’d share that little tidbit, so that you, too, could laugh at me. Onto the rest of my day, where more self inflicted injuries await…

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